“Men Are Just Happier People —
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color..
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look..
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Send this to the women who can handle it
And to the men who will enjoy reading it.
Men Are Just Happier People
·If Sheila, Candy and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Sheila, Candy and Sarah.
·If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .
·When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back..
·When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
·A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
·A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
·A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
·The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
·A woman has the last word in any argument.
·Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
·A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
·A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
·A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
·A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
·A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
·A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
·Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed..
·Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
·Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
·A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!”—
How did your RRSPs do in 2008? If they performed anything like the CPP (lost 18%) or the TSX (lost 33%), you’d probably rather not think about it.
Do you know how the pension funds of Members of Parliament did during the 2008 recession and market melt-down? Incredibly they grew by 10.4%.
Was this thanks to masterful investment strategy? No. In fact, MP pension funds are not invested at all. They are notional accounts that are guaranteed, by law, to grow by 10.4% a year, every year. This ‘interest’ is paid into these accounts by taxpayers.
In fact, while we once thought taxpayers were chipping in $5.80 for every $1 contributed by an MP into their pension accounts, thanks to these phony interest earnings, taxpayers are actually kicking in $23.30 for every $1 paid in by an MP.
What this means is that on average, taxpayers are putting more money into an MP’s pension account each year ($248,000) than we’re paying them in salary ($157,000 base pay) and way, way more than MPs themselves are contributing to their own pensions ($10,990 minimum).
Earlier today, the CTF held a national press conference in Ottawa to blow the whistle on these outrageous ‘interest’ payments.
We know that in order for our MPs to have the moral authority to reform the pensions of government workers, they must first reform their own pensions.
And it can’t happen soon enough.
A recent C.D. Howe Institute report pegs the unfunded liability in federal government employee pension plans at $227 billion. That’s a debt (in addition to our nearly $580 billion federal debt) of over $6,500 for every man, woman and child in Canada, just to cover the shortfalls in bureaucrat pensions.
We’re hopeful Prime Minister Harper is starting to understand this. On Monday, the Prime Minister told CBC’s Peter Mansbridge that “…it also raises the issue of pensions of Parliamentarians and that issue will have to be looked at, at the same time.”
We need to take action now and give Mr. Harper as well as our opposition leaders a push in the right direction.
P.S. If it weren’t for the CTF blowing the whistle, these hidden ‘interest’ payments may never have come to light. Can you chip-in $23.30 today to help us keep up the fight on MP pensions? Click HERE to visit the CTF’s donation website.