March 2011
171 posts
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Daddy, how was I born?
- A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born?"
- The father answers,
- "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
- Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
- Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
- We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other.
- There, your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
- As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
- You got Male!"
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Love those Canadians!
- A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit Pakistan. Two million Pakistanis
- died and over a million injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is sending troops to help.
- Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Latin American countries are sending supplies.New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops.The Asian continents are sending labour to assist in rebuilding infrastructure.
- Australia is sending medical teams and supplies.
- Canadians, not to be outdone, are sending two million replacement Pakistanis.
- God Bless Canadian generosity!
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Hug Certificate
- If I could catch a rainbow
- I would do it just for you
- And share with you its beauty
- On the days you're feeling blue.
- If I could build a mountain
- You could call your very own;
- A place to find serenity,
- A place to be alone.
- If I could take your troubles
- I would toss them in the sea,
- But all these things I'm finding
- Are impossible for me.
- I cannot build a mountain
- Or catch a rainbow fair,
- But let me be what I know best,
- A friend who's always there.
How Adam Got Eve
- Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.
- So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'
- Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
- God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.
- He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you,
- and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you
- She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.
- She will praise you!
- She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.
- 'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.'
- Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'
- 'An arm and a leg.'
- Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib
- Of course the rest is history............!!!!
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How To Know The Gender Of A Fly
- A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
- husband stalking around with a fly swatter
- 'What are you doing?' !
- She asked.
- 'Hunting Flies'
- He responded.
- 'Oh. ! Killing any?'
- She asked.
- 'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.
- Intrigued, she asked.
- 'How can you tell them apart?'
- He responded,
- '3 were on a beer can,
- 2 were on the phone
