Norbert News & Nature: Archive

Feb 28, 2011

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Feb 28, 2011

A Dog's Purpose? (From a 6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try to live.
He said,' People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?''
The Six-year-old continued,' Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''

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Defective Muscle

Bob can't get an erection so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his penis
are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless
he's willing to try an experimental surgery.
Bob asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they
take some muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk,
insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best.
Bob says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never
having sex again is even scarier, so he says ok.
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and
about 6 weeks later he gives Bob the go ahead to "try
out his new equipment".
Bob takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner Bob
starts feeling incredible pressure in his pants. It gets
unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he
undoes his pants.
No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of
his pants, rolls across the table, grabs an apple from
the fruit basket, and disappears back into his pants.
His wife sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets
a sly look on her face. She says, "That was pretty cool!
Can you do that again?"
With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face,
Bob says, "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another
apple up my ass."

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Click the link…

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Feb 22, 20112 notes

A Daughters Request